As a new mother, the postpartum phase felt overwhelming with advice and opinions coming from all directions about breastfeeding, the baby, my body, food, and almost everything else. Most of it came from love and experience, but love does not always mean it is truly helpful.
In this blog, I am simply sharing what I experienced and what other mothers around me also went through during postpartum, to understand what really supports a breastfeeding mother today.
Tumhare doodh nahi aa raha hai/ Doodh kam hai, upar ka doodh de do
Myth:
If the baby feeds frequently or cries often, your milk is insufficient.
What actually helps:
Breast milk works on demand and supply. More baby feeds → more milk is produced. Frequent feeding is normal, especially during growth spurts and evenings. Panic supplementation often creates self-doubt before it solves any real issue.
Bachcha baar-baar pee raha hai, doodh patla hoga/ doodh kum hoga
What people say:
Thin milk doesn’t satisfy the baby.
What actually helps:
There is no patla doodh. Breast milk changes composition during a feed. Foremilk -hydrates, and hindmilk – nourishes. This is biology working perfectly.
Paani kam piyo, doodh thanda ho jaata hai
What people say:
Too much water affects milk quality.
What actually helps:
Hydration supports energy, mood, and recovery. Dehydration only makes breastfeeding and postpartum fatigue worse.
Bas ye kha lo, doodh apne aap aa jayega
What people say:
Certain foods alone can increase milk supply.
What actually helps:
No food replaces frequent feeding and proper latch. Nourishing meals help the mother’s strength, which indirectly supports breastfeeding.
Breastfeeding mein dard hota hi hai
What people say:
Pain is normal and must be tolerated.
What actually helps:
Initial soreness can be common. Persistent pain, cracked nipples, or bleeding is not normal and usually indicates latch or positioning issues. Mothers are told to endure it.
Raat ko feed ki aadat mat daalo
What people say:
Night feeding spoils the baby.
What actually helps:
Night feeds support milk supply. Prolactin levels peak at night, and newborns are biologically wired to feed then. Hard, yes. Wrong? No.
Formula de do, bachche ka pet zyada bharega
What people say:
Formula-fed babies sleep longer and stay fuller.
What actually helps:
Breastfed babies digest milk faster and therefore feed more often. This doesn’t mean they aren’t satisfied. I learned that a fed baby and a mentally okay mother matter more than feeding methods. Guilt helps no one.
Zyada godh mein mat lo, aadat pad jayegi
What people say:
Holding the baby too much spoils them.
What actually helps:
Touch regulates a baby’s nervous system. Comfort builds emotional security, not dependency. I started trusting instincts. My baby didn’t get spoiled, and we both got calmer.
Maa toh strong hoti hi hai
What people say:
Exhaustion is part of motherhood.
What actually helps:
Chronic fatigue affects physical recovery and mental health. Rest and support are needs, not rewards.
Humne bhi kiya tha, tum bhi kar logi
What people say:
Every generation managed, so should you.
What actually helps:
Today’s mothers often have less physical support, nuclear families, and higher expectations. Comparison only deepens isolation.
When Advice Comes Without Help
One thing I noticed during postpartum was how easily advice flows from people we barely talk to. Relatives, distant family members, or acquaintances suddenly have strong opinions about the baby or raising your child.
Some of you might be thinking, what’s wrong with giving advice and sharing opinions? Isn’t that a basic part of life?
Yes, it is.
But only a mother in postpartum truly knows how deeply words can hit during that fragile phase. When your body is healing, and you are trying to find your footing in a completely new identity, even well-intentioned advice can feel overwhelming.
The hardest part?
Advice is rarely given once. It repeats. It piles up.
So before offering advice, maybe offer presence and real help.
Before correcting, maybe comfort.
Before instructing, maybe listen.
And if you’re reading this as someone who loves a new mother, support her gently. Ask her how she feels. Hold space for her emotions. Sometimes silence and reassurance heal more than suggestions ever could.
And if you’re reading this as a mother navigating postpartum, please know your feelings are valid.
Now you might be wondering, if we shouldn’t constantly give advice, then what should we do?
Start with empathy.
Start with listening.
Start with kindness.
Read more – Gentle Affirmations for New Mothers
Help her with daily chores
Play with the baby and allow her to take a nap
The best way – Ask a mother how you can help her
And if this resonated with you, share this blog with a healing mother. She may not say it out loud, but she needs to feel understood.
CurlyGirlyTravely 